At its best, conversation is a choice—a brave willingness to engage with others, even with those who challenge our views or come from vastly different experiences. The goal of engaging is not about convincing or converting. It is, rather, to create something together–new knowledge and understanding, new relationships, or new puzzles worth piecing together.
Human-to-human interaction is under assault from cultural divisions and social media algorithms. Yet, we can re-learn what makes us most human—our innate capacity to collaborate, to empathize, and build meaning together and, as a result, we can tackle the greatest issues of our time.
Conversation for Civility, Collaboration & Creativity (“Conversation for Civility ” or C𝑓C) reclaims human capacity to have conversations rooted in respect, fact, and listening, which, in turn, cultivate healing, problem-solving, and connection.
C𝑓C is an invitation to slow down, tune in, and recognize the positive power of our conversation not to just express, but to unite, to generate, and to restore.
When we choose to be present with each other and intentional about the way we communicate, we begin to see the invisible architecture of our conversations–the sequences of moves, the rhythm of listening, the sum of shared insight. This is where transformation begins: not just in what we say, but in how we say it, and who we become together in the process.
C𝑓C allows us to collectively:
Develop intent-to-act and be accountable to those around us
Build relationships and develop cohesion with and among one another
Generate options for problem solving and innovating solutions
The Five Discussion Disciplines (5DDs)
C𝑓C envelopes five “discussion disciplines” (5DDs) that were defined through research into their impacts. These disciplines create space for us to break the habits of disparagement and dismissal, mitigate polarization, and recognize (and respect) the co-creator in each other. Research shows that, as a result of practicing the 5DDs, participants achieve a measurable increase in their intent-to-act, relationship building, and options generation– outcomes that are critical to an organization or community’s mission (Pugh et al., 2023).
When practiced deliberately, the 5DDs make conversation more inspiring and creative, and bring people measurably closer. They (and their “shadows” or opposites) follow.
Integrity
An informative move.
By using Integrity we can initiate new ideas or assert a fact.
Integrity’s shadow includes fear-mongering, spreading misinformation, and fact manipulation.
Integrity-Q
A clarification-seeking move.
When we use Integrity-Q, we reach out to ask for insight or help from the group or specific individuals.
Integrity-Q’s shadow is using assumptions, abstraction, or simply making statements disguised as questions.
Courtesy
A move that demonstrates goodwill, politeness, and respect.
Focused on positivity and generosity, it can be mood-uplifting. (All 5DDs promote civility, but Courtesy is the most purely associated with interjecting civility and dignity into conversation.)
Blame, aggression, negativism and gaslighting are Courtesy’s shadow.
Inclusion
A move that acknowledges, recognizes, or draws in the other person — in the room or online.
Inclusion seeks out different life-experiences, perspectives, and decision-making heuristics.
The shadow of Inclusion is unilateral thinking, ignoring, or dominating.
Translation
A move that reflects back to the group (or a new joiner) what’s accumulated in the conversation.
Translation may summarize from both a content or process perspective. It could review or extrapolate, but always with evidence and humility.
Translation’s shadow is over-certainty, cherry-picking evidence, or manipulative false reasoning.
The 5DDs lead to productive conversation that combines views without judgement, combats polarization, bridges and integrates knowledge as an innovation, and builds collective resilience (Pugh, Altmann, 2024).
CƒC is an approach that orchestrates these Five Discussion Disciplines in contexts, challenges, and system weaving. To that end, we choose how to engage in conversation knowing that the accumulation of discussion disciplines, in turn, yield insights, intents and relationships.
Values
Our values are built from the 5DDs at the heart of C𝑓C and our heritage in the dialogic way of being:
Integrity
We value new ideas and people using their agency to share their lived experiences.
Integrity-Q
We are insatiably curious and clarification-seeking.
Courtesy
We strive for spreading goodwill, and practice politeness and respect.
Inclusion
We honor a variety of life experiences, ways of knowing, and perspectives. We strive to acknowledge those who are present.
Translation
We pull together ideas, and explore divergent heuristics, decision-making approaches and understanding.